Parenting is a multifaceted activity that includes many specific behaviours that work individually and together to influence child outcomes and behaviour, such as spanking and smacking or love withdrawal, may influence development of the child, looking at any specific behaviour in isolation may be misleading. It has been noted that specific parenting practices are less important in predicting child well-being than is the broad pattern of parenting. There are well known four main parenting styles Identified by Diana Baumrind in her research known as authoritative, authoritarian, permissive and neglectful or uninvolved.
The two major elements of parenting are Parental responsiveness and Parental demandingness. Some parents deliberately promote Independence, self- regulation and self- esteem by being supportive, adjusted to and accepting to children’s special needs and demand. On the other hand, there are parents who establish high standards whereas others demand very little and rarely try to influence their child’s behaviour.
A two dimensional classification of parenting styles
| Responses | Unresponsive | |
| Demanding | Authoritative parent | Authoritarian parent |
| Undemanding | Permissive parent | Uninvolved parent |
The benefits of authoritative parenting and the damaging effects of uninvolved parenting are evident as early as the preschool years and continue throughout adolescence and into early adulthood.
Parenting styles that is responsive but demanding is the most common pattern around the world. But there exist differences in parenting style affected by a variety of factors mentioned as Family education and Occupation, background, family status and living standard, family size, health of the members, ethnicity, poverty, family type and gender of the child. Thus parent child relationship is an important aspect in children’s development. This relationship is bi-directional in nature, that is, parents influence the behaviour of children and children influence the behaviour of their parents.
Parents expect respect, love, and honesty from their children, but are the making their children sensitive towards nature and beings around them? They take their children out in the park, does it help in making them sensitive towards nature, not only by telling them not to pluck flowers instead they don’t pluck flowers ourselves, that is the practical example since parents and teachers are their role models and guide to success. Improving children’s personality is a holistic approach, how much time we spend with the child to enhance the life skills- which will help him to adapt to his life style or to any situation.
How many mothers advise their daughters for their physical changes, or the fathers advise their sons? Peer pressure is very strong these days, if the parents do not advise their children they will talk to their friends or acquaintances. Proximity and sharing develops warmth and trust. Why do we need to have training for personality development? Are we developing sharing and warmth or are we becoming selfish? Earlier there were joint families where the children could share feelings and grow gradually with trust and feelings of love and warmth.
There are Single parent families too now days in which the children reside with one parent, who shoulders the major responsibility of their upbringing. It can be a single father or single mother family, permanent or temporary and involve physical absence of a parent. Single parents are more vulnerable to stressful life events and every day strains and have fewer resources for coping with stress.
Parents in mid-adult phase may have to break the patterns and habits of two decades, as they let their children venture into the world and establish themselves. In fact, parenting responsibility in India may continue for a long time even after young adults have established themselves in professional as well as marital roles. One of the major concerns of parents in middle years is to live up to the social expectations of successfully launching their children.
Conclusion
Thus parenting style whether in joint, extended or nuclear families play a vital role in procreation, socialisation, providing affection, emotional and economic support.
A famous example is of a mother who was instructed by the teacher to take her son back home saying he’s dumb, good for nothing. Whereas on reaching back home, instead of scolding her son, she told him that he’s a genius and the school can’t teach him as he doesn’t need any help from the school, even she can teach him. He grew up with this thought in his mind that he is a genius and later became the famous scientist Thomas Elva Edison and rest is history. So, let your child become scientist, doctor, engineer, musician, animal and nature lover, and above all a great human being. Let them find their own journey because ultimately it’s their journey of the soul. We as parents are there to guide and motivate them to choose their path with right values and avoid using 3 C’s. We just need to be grateful to be a parent for getting this opportunity to give birth, nurture, love and educate the child and enjoy parenting.